世界のデート！

Ｈさんからもらった、ジョーク
世界の女の人のデートのフォーマットらしいです。

Ｈさんの話によると、Ｈさんの友達の
外国人さんが、各国の女性のデートのパターンを
ユーモアたっぷりに分析したものらしいです。

読んでもらえればわかるとおもいますが、
どれも特徴を捉えていておもしろいと思います。

特に僕がおもしろかったのは、
日本人にパターンがいっぱいあるのと、ブランド物を欲しがるくだり。
インドが結婚まっしぐらなのと
中国人とは何もおこらないってのと
メキシカンが2度目でできちゃってるとこっすかね。

全部大爆笑でした。

訳はなしなので、お暇ならどうぞ！


注意）よい子と冗談が分からない人は
以下をみないでください
（見てもおこらないでください）



Dating Rituals:

WHITE WOMEN
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.

GERMAN WOMEN
First date: You take her out to dinner and make out in a dark alley
Second date: You have to bring the food, cook it and have sex.
Third Date: You call the pizza service, have a quicky and watch tv.

IRISH WOMEN
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMEN
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti &
meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex; she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat
ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of
having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.

JEWISH WOMEN
First Date: You get dynamite head.
Second Date: You get more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.

JAPANESE WOMEN (Their IdeaL)
First date: You pick her up in your fancy car and take her to an expensive dinner
Second date: You bring her a Gucci wallet and Louis Vuitton bag
Third date: You have sex

GHETTO JAPANESE WOMEN
First Date: Meet for a nice dinner. She mentions that men have to pay all the time
so you do.
Second Date: You try to cuddle with her, and she tells you to go down on her.
Afterwards you realize that she won't let you stick it in.
Third Date: She got what she wanted, so she doesn't pick up her phone anymeore.

JAPANESE WOMEN ( In California)
First Date: Go to a movie, museum or restaurant
Second date: Go to dinner and also to the guy's place
Third date: Kisses and sex

JAPANESE WOMEN ( More realistic)
First date: Meet for a nice dinner at an interesting, but little known restaurant.
Have girl tell you she doesn't drink much and is shy.
Later that evening after having more wine and drinks,
some cuddling and kissing, couple goes to hotel for sex.*
(Sometimes the girl says stop and so they kiss good night)
Second date: Same as above, but the girl acts shyer than the first time,
but both have a good time eating and drinking this time.
They definitely have sex and she gives great head to the guy.
Third date: Same as above and there isn't any shyness on display.
They have a great time they have sex doggie style and
she finally shows that she is a real freak in bed. Every date afterwards is great!

CHINESE WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens
again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already
realized nothing is going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMEN
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive
dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.

MEXICAN WOMEN
First Date: You b uy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and
have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later: her mother, father, his
girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her
grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's
boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for
the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks
like a home along the Rio Grande.